The Paper

Ryan is very carefully opening this gift so as not to mess up the paper.

My aunt Lorri told us that while she was wrapping up the gifts she went on a hunt for some more tissue paper (it was mixed in with a bunch of other wrapping paper that Lorri had inherited when my grandma Berry passed)  She said she ran into this paper and it had my name all over it (literally).  It had been with my grandmas other things and it was wrapping paper covered in mushrooms and it said “for your shower” all over it.

For those of you who don’t know (or just aren’t registering this) my middle name is Chantarelle (also a really yummy mushroom).  It was kind of like grandma had got it and saved it just to be found and used for this occasion.

Lorri included a few other pieces that weren’t used for wrapping which I’m sure I’ll find something creative to do with.

I thought this was really really cool.  She (my grandma) passed almost 9 years ago.  I miss her still, wish Ryan among others could have known her, and know she would have enjoyed being a great grandma.  I will treasure this little treasure she left, whether it was intentional or not.

24 weeks at Christmas

How far along? 24 weeks.  16 to go.
Baby is the size of an: More than a pound and a half and taller than 2 stacked juice boxes.
Total weight gain: I’m up about 10lbs over all.  I’m home for the holidays so can’t weigh myself to be exact, but as of Friday I was at 10 even.
Gender: We lied.  We knew.  We wanted family to find out first and had a really great plan for how to tell them.  We have a video of the experience but it’s kinda long.  I’ve got a few pictures. We found a seller on etsy who made some pretty cool looking scratcher card with whatever message you wanted.  We got one for my grandpa, we addressed it to “Great Grandpa” from “Zen Baby” The message said “I’m a boy”

No one knew we knew and they really didn’t know we were going to be surprising them with the information.

Then we got a different card who’s message said “And my name is Augustus Gordon Berry. But you can call me “Gus””  We gave it to my grandma to open.

It was a very fun surprise, even if we all were fairly partial to getting a girl.  Mostly I think that’s just because girls are what we all know.

My mama with another gift I gave her.  She rearranged the letter to spell her own message.
Name: Augustus Gordon Berry.

Augustus after a character in one of our favorite books (also after a few very important people in my life)

Gordon is Daddy’s last name, Berry is mine.  The deal was, if it’s a girl, she will be a Gordon.  If it’s a boy, he will be a Berry.  The reasoning behind this is as follows:  Ryan has a son already to carry on the Gordon name.  On my side, there are no boy Berrys left to carry on the name.  I argued that it was only fair and pretty important to me to keep my name going.  He agreed therefore we have ourselves a Berry.  Once we found out it was a boy, I found myself a little sad that we were losing Ryan’s name all together.  I asked how he felt about Augustus Gordon Berry.  He liked it, we have a name!
Stretch marks? Still none though my skin does feel like it’s pulling after big meals (like our christmas dinner) these days.
Sleep: Last night wasn’t great, but I think that’s mostly because it was a different bed in a very quiet house.  I think tonight will be better.  IN general it’s about the same.

Have you started to show yet:  I think my family would agree that the bump is present.  Mama in particular has been enjoying it’s existence in her eye line.

Maternity clothes? Still nothing new.  Still avoiding spending the money.

Movement: He seemed like he had moved to a different position where i was getting kicked lower and couldn’t really feel any movement from the outside.  Since yesterday (right on time little one) he has moved back around and kicked his grandma and his auntie.
Best moment this week: uh… being home! Duh!  And maybe the “big reveal”.  That was pretty cool.

Worst moment of the week: I’m sure I had some bad ones, but right now the rose-colored glasses are on and I’m happy to not look back and find any bad.

Miss Anything: being able to sit for long periods of time.  My backside gets SO SORE!!!

Belly button in or out? It’s officially out when I’m standing, in when I’m sitting or laying.

Food cravings: I finally got Chevy’s.  It hasn’t been a crazy craving, but I have wanted it for months.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Nope
Labor Signs: Nothing.
Symptoms: Soreness mostly.

Upcoming appointments/events: We have our next appointment on Thursday.  We have dinner with my sisters in-laws on Christmas night and we have a dinner out planned for Christmas Eve Night at another on e of my favorite restaurants from home Cafe Delicious.
Happy or Moody most of the time: One could argue that it was a fairly moody week, but I honestly think that was mostly due to Ryan stressing me out about Christmas.
Looking forward to: I’m living the dream until Wednesday when we have to go back home.  I’m hoping (not very hopefully) to be snowed in and unable to go.

GreatGrandparents with their cards.

Guilt and Work

Guilt

While I have been wanting to tell anyone and everyone who will listen, especially those who I also think might care, I have been working so freaking hard to keep my trap shut!  While I don’t have any established reason to worry that things won’t go well, I have heard too many stories and read too much advice about waiting to tell the world until after the first trimester is over.  I doubt I’ll make it that long, but at the very least I’d like to wait until after I see my Dr. and she confirms that I am in fact pregnant and that it’s okay to tell people.  At which point I will still likely keep it quiet from the general public, but will be excited to tell the people I trust and am close to. It took every fiber of my being to not tell Tawny last night.  She’s my girl!  Others can figure it out for themselves.

This brings me to the guilt.  While It’s not in our current plan to spread the news, it has leaked out to a few close friends (and even a few relative strangers).  And with each person who finds out before my parents and sister the guilt gets a little heavier.  It’s so not fair for anyone to know before they do (with the exception of Ryan), I understand this.  Here’s the thing though.  The people who know so far didn’t get any cool surprise.  No puzzle, no treat, no planning.  I would have told my family the day I knew if I had everything planned, ready to go, and in their hands, but alas, I did not.  So they wait.  And I feel endlessly guilty.  At least they don’t know they are waiting.  Hopefully they don’t even notice that they weren’t the first to know. (I’m hoping that the “you’re going to be grandparents/ and aunt” thing will keep them distracted enough to not mind.

And that is a perfect segway into…

Work 

I have to tell one more person.  My boss.  I’m going as far up the ladder as I can and requesting that the information stay between the 2 of us for now as there is no need for the others to know at this point.

I found out yesterday that our office manager is leaving us.  I had asked months and months ago to be considered if she needed help at any point or decided to leave.  Apparently that conversation was forgotten as the fill in has been chosen and isn’t me.  Now don’t get me wrong, I love my job.  I love my regulars (it’s so so hard to not tell them too!).  I also like the idea of learning new things and not letting work get too stagnant.  I was thinking maybe I could do both.  Apparently a reminder is needed that I’d like to do both and at this point, it seems to me that I would be a good choice to do both because at some point in the not too distant future, I may not be able to fit behind that teeny tiny bar of mine.

Ultimately, I want him to know so that if something else like this opportunity does come up, I want/need to be considered for it.  I also want to start his wheels turning on what other options might be good for me when I’m too big to fit in the bar. (maybe I’ll be one of those pregnant chicks who only looks (and feels) like she’s 6 months pregnant when she’s really 9 months, but I’m not counting on it)  I also want him to know my plans, and that I have been thinking about this seriously, taking it seriously, and want and need to keep working in whatever capacity as long as possible.  I’d hate for him to find out some other way (he knows all) and feel blindsided or worried that I wasn’t going to tell him.  So.  We have a meeting setup for tomorrow afternoon in which I will spill the beans and share my plans and thoughts on the matter.

And then I’m done.  I refuse to tell anyone else until my parents and sister know first.  Even when the booze distributors come to see me with new samples that I can’t drink (yesterday).  It’s only right.  I feel like a bad kid for keeping them out of the loop this long.  I hate that I didn’t opt for overnight shipping on everything I have ordered so far.  I want them to know so badly!

All in due time I suppose.

Updates on how I’m feeling:

So far, still not feeling very different.

Everything I read about where I am in this adventure talks about how I may be feeling crappy and how to combat it, how to get workouts in when I feel like I’m going to yak and all that, but I feel fine.  (I guess I really don’t have an excuse for not going to the gym)

When I’m hungry I’m really hungry.  Not in a low blood sugar kind of way, but in a my stomach is so empty it’s eating itself kind of way.

Sometimes I feel like I have superman sense of smell, other times it seems normal.

I am peeing a lot which they say I will do based on hormones and all that, but I’m not convinced that it’s not just because I have been drinking extra water (like they say to do).

I have heard lots about constipation ( I think that’s supposed to happen later and not something I look forward to) but so far I have been more regular than ever. (possibly due to all the apricots I have been eating.  Apricot season is my favorite)

Lots of water, lots of fruit. Yum!

Some back story

The Back Story

5 days ago, 2 days after the 34th anniversary of my parents I took a pregnancy test.

For a few weeks I had been experiencing sore breasts.  I was aware but didn’t think a whole lot of it until around Sunday evening when the app I have on my iPhone alerted me that I was 2 days late in starting my period.  I have never been a 28 days on the nose kind of cycler, but that alert in conjunction with my super sore top half got my wheels turning.

I thought about it all day Monday as the cramps and spotting remained illusive, and could ignore it no longer come Tuesday.  I finally got the house to myself for a bit in the afternoon and took advantage of that alone time to pee on a stick.  The results came quickly as did the breaths as the little windows filled completely with color, then emptied slowly leaving me with a faint (but clear) plus sign.  I was (am) pregnant.

I made my way back to the couch and was in the process of working out how best to tell Ryan when he walked through the door.  Turns out verbal diarrhea was the way to go, at least, that’s the way it went.

Ultimately he voted that we not count our chickens (hopefully only one chicken) and in a week, if I still hadn’t gotten back on schedule we take another test and go from there.  That week turned into 5 days and here we are, test number 2 and you can see for yourself,

still got a chicken.

Naturally I have spent the last 5 days devouring anything I can baby/pregnancy/child rearing related.  Here are some basics that those who care may wish to know.

As of today I am 5weeks and 4 days along.

My due date (based on the pregnancy app I now have downloaded onto my phone) is February 6,2012.

I have not yet made my first Dr. appointment (will call to schedule one tomorrow as today is Sunday)

So far I really haven’t felt a whole lot different aside from the sore tatas (fingers crossed that I stay that way for a while)

The Blog

The idea of this blog is simple.  My immediate family is not close by.  They won’t get to be here to watch me grow or listen to me whine.  My family is wonderful and I know that once they find out about this little chick (that’s right, they don’t know yet.  More on how we plan to tell them later) they will have lots of questions and all want updates.  I will be happy to share everything i know and can, but this blog will be here to help clarify, hopefully fill in the blanks, and visually document the journey for all (who wish) to see (and aren’t unable to get in touch).

Facebook is not an option

Like I said, more on the reveal to come.

As Ry just said after another chat about the goings on, “Here we go!”