Nervous

As the days keep passing by with no real symptoms, I’m getting more and more nervous.
While last week I did have a few days of being really sleepy, the last handful of days I haven’t felt that at all. I have even had the energy to keeps myself busy with chores the last few days on top of working every night. My stomach has almost completely not been upset. I’m glad for this, but I’ll be honest, it kinda makes me worry. I also haven’t been having any kind of cramping like I was having before. I have no spotting either which is good, but there’s no ruling out a missed miscarriage.
My girls are still pretty sore, which is the one thing that calms my nerves, that and no blood. But I’ll be honest, I’m getting worried about what we will see and/or hear come Thursday at our first appointment.
Is this little zen baby still thriving? Will we have to start all over again?
I’ll try to keep reminding myself that it will be what it will be. There’s no controlling it. There’s no predicting it. It’s like a tornado. It’ll Go where it wants when it wants. I’ll ride the wind.
It’ll be what it’ll be.

Are you my Chicken?

I don’t know what to think.

I spoke with the Dr. yesterday morning and she asked me to go into the diagnostics lab and get some blood work done.  She wanted to check my HcG levels.  I had to get one test done yesterday (hopefully I will know results of that one today) and one more on Saturday morning.  The idea is that as your pregnancy progresses, your HcG levels should increase.  Hopefully, the levels from tomorrows test are higher that from yesterdays.  That will tell me that I haven’t miscarried and the pregnancy is still progressing.  If they are lower it means I have or am in the process of a miscarriage.

I went and got the blood drawn then came back home to crawl back into bed ( the Dr. wrote me a note asking that I be excused from work for the weekend as she recommended bed-rest).  Throughout the day my bleeding and cramping continued to worsen.  It peaked yesterday evening and started to ease off after I had passed a number of quarter sized clots.  What that me miscarrying?  Was it some other easily explained cramping and spotting?  Do we still have a chicken?  I was convinced yesterday that it could only be a miscarriage.  Now, who knows?

If i stand up for a while, it feels like I start to cramp a little again, so here in bed I lay.  The bleeding has all but stopped which is an exciting prospect.  I read a lot about miscarriages last night and it seems like if that’s what that was, there maybe should have been more blood.  Maybe even more pain with my cramps.  That being said, every woman and pregnancy -and presumably loss of pregnancy- is different.

The only symptom I have really had so far in this pregnancy is sore breasts.  Yesterday it seemed that the soreness was all but gone.  Today they do feel sore.  As sore as they were? I don’t think so, but they are sore.  I may be grasping at straws.

So here we are.  I don’t know what to think.  I don’t want to be too hopeful as I don’t want to be so let down.  I also don’t want to assume that it’s all over.  I guess I am prepared for it to not have been our little chick and I’ll be so excited if it is our little chick.  I’m still taking care of myself.  In bed, lots of water, healthy foods, prenatal vitamins.

Won’t know anything for sure until we get the results on Monday.

edit: Just spoke with the Dr.  She said that my test from yesterday showed nice healthy numbers for HcG levels (2100 I think) but if I’m experiencing a miscarriage, that number won’t mean anything until we can compare it to tomorrows number.  She noted that my progesterone level was low and if this pregnancy is progressing, I will need to be put on progesterone until the placenta picks up the slack and can take over on its own.  Basically she said I should keep feeling what I’m feeling.  She said it could very likely have been a miscarriage, and she also said that it just as easily could have been some random early pregnancy bleeding.  Won’t know anything until Monday.

Wish us luck.

Scary

Yesterday, I decided enough was enough.  I was tired of this house not being arranged how I wanted it.  I was determined to rearrange and rectify the situation.  this also included making steps in the direction of making my room downstairs into an appropriate baby’s room.  The day included some heavy lifting.

Yesterday evening I started getting crampy.  It was uncomfortable but I have read that cramping is normal.  Later in the evening when I went potty I noticed some brown spotting.  That’s when I started getting nervous.  I know that cramping is normal, and that spotting is normal, but it seems like everything I have read has differing opinions on whether it’s okay to be cramping and spotting at the same time.

I called and left a message for my Dr. last night asking if all was well and I can relax about it.  This early morning I woke up to more cramps and not a whole lot more, but some spotting.  But when I woke up the second time, at a more reasonable hour, there was more spotting.  A little heavier, more red-not bright read, but a deep red, and a little mucousy.  I know this is graphic but it’s what’s going on.  The cramps aren’t quite as bad as they were, but still present.  I’m nervous. I’m uncomfortable.

I’m currently waiting for a call back from my Dr.  Ultimately I think everything is okay…I think…  But I want the advice of a medical practitioner to tell me so.

Until then, trying not to move too much (not sure how this is going to help) and trying to keep myself distracted.